Is Marrying An Achievement?

Is Marrying An Achievement?

Photo by Denny Müller on Unsplash

Hi lovely reader! Welcome back to our series on the subject of relationship. How are you doing? Really, how are you doing? Before you continue just take 2-3 minutes and really have a conversation with yourself and see how you are really doing.

Why are you trying to cheat yourself? It’s not time. Thank you to those that really did the exercise. Integrity. Now let’s get into today’s subject. 

The answer to the above topic will vary depending on who you are asking. While some will categorically argue in the affirmative, some others will vehemently argue in the negative.  As to the question of which side of the debate is wrong or right, I can’t answer for you. What does achievement mean though? According to Merriam-webster dictionary, achievement is defined as results gained by effort.

Anyone can make an effort to marry. It requires no special qualification or talent so, marrying in and of itself, in my opinion, is not an achievement. Gone are the days when marrying a man was a woman’s passport to securing her life. We are now in an enlightened state where we understand that marriage needs two complete persons as no human can complete you. It’s a partnership between two people.  Does not marrying make a person a failure? No, I do not think so. You have a purpose as a person that you must pursue even without marrying. If not marrying makes a person a failure, by that definition Jesus will be considered a failure but He is not a failure evidentially.  

Don’t get me wrong, marrying and marriage is a beautiful institution which I personally look forward to however marrying in and of itself is not an achievement. The achievement for me will be finding true and real love, a love that through thick and thin (minus abuse of course) still remains. Real love is a knowing, and knowing is a place that lives beyond thoughts or feelings. You probably don’t always feel loving feelings for your mother or father or best friend, but you know you love them. A successful marriage as my soon to be wife will say is an accomplishment but just getting married to someone is not. When she said marriage is not an achievement, in the beginning, I used to be very defensive but after serious consideration and thought, I agree with her.  A marriage is worked upon by two people for years. They share joys and sorrows, they share a lot together – and all this takes effort and commitment and compromise, and hence, becomes a worthy feat. But, to feel that you are accomplishing something only because you are getting married is fooling yourself.

Don’t let anyone pressure you to chase marriage like a trophy because it will put you at the risk of settling. The urge to settle will make you think that if you don’t hurry up and get the ring, you’ll end up alone and unhappy, so you get hitched to a partner who’s sort of great but not, and only manageable. Don’t try to prove any point to anyone because you will be denying yourself the chance to find a really fulfilling relationship if you settle for the wrong partner and that’s really no accomplishment at all. The focus should be on finding true love and having a quality relationship. 

What’s your own opinion. Let’s rub minds in the comment section below.


  1. Abidoye Omowunmi

    Marriage is an institution ordained by God. Great achievements of marriage is marrying rightly. I mean getting along with your spouse at all situation.
    At this same time when one doesnt marry at a due age…. It can be unpleasant which i dont even pray for my enemy.

    More wisdom sir DR Progress.

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